Annual days of remembrance such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries, are great cause to reflect on God's goodness. Today is my fifth wedding anniversary, giving me cause to remember . . . to remember the details of that beautiful day in October 2006, to remember how God clearly directed my path to merge with the path of my Rob, and to remember the abundant blessings of God these past five years. I invite you to join me down Memory Lane, and rejoice with me in the goodness of God.
Remembering My Wedding Day
While it had snowed a couple of times earlier in the week, October 14, 2006 was a beautiful, fall day, full of sunshine. The colors for our wedding were eggplant (a deep purple) and lime green. Our wedding party included all of our siblings, Rob's dear spiritual mentor, Dr. Mike, and Rob's children. The theme for our wedding was taken from Matthew 6:33 - "Seek ye first the kingdom of God" - a testimony to the blessing of simply trusting God to meet our needs. The reception was a light luncheon of chicken salad sandwiches, veggies, cheese and crackers, and of course, cake. We were blessed to enjoy our wedding day with numerous friends and family. Our wedding will always be to me a beautiful culmination of how God brought us together. So how did we get together, you may ask? Well, allow me to share how it all started ...
Remembering How We Met
The story of how I met my husband is a tale I love to tell. It is a real-life dream-come-true, but full of details that can be confusing. Before I jump into how I met Rob, let me share some background information that is helpful in understanding how our paths merged.
Rob's Background:
- Graduated from high school and began college at a local university.
- Got a job waiting tables at Red Lobster.
- Met Dr. Mike, a regular Red Lobster customer, who regularly shared the Gospel with Rob.
- Rob trusted Christ as a 19 year old and not long after that decided to transfer to Maranatha Baptist Bible College (MBBC) as a Bible major.
- Rob maintained (and continues to maintain) a very close relationship with Dr. Mike (who plays a part in the story later).
- 1995: Rob graduated from MBBC with his Bachelor's Degree in Bible.
- 1996: Married Hope (whom he met at MBBC), and worked on a master's degree at Maranatha.
- 1997: Samantha was born
- 1998: Moved to Michigan and continued to work on his master's degree via distance learning.
- 1999: Michael was born
- 2001: Rob graduated from MBBC with his Master's Degree.
- 2004: God called Hope home, leaving Rob, Samantha, and Michael behind.
- 2005: Rob enrolled in seminary to work on an M.Div and put Samantha and Michael in a nearby Christian School.
 |
| Rob at his high school graduation |
My Background:
- As a child, I recognized my sinful state and trusted Christ as my Lord and Savior.
- As a junior higher, I was encouraged to start praying for my future spouse, which I did (and that was about the same time Rob trusted Christ).
- Upon graduation from high school, I went to Maranatha Baptist Bible College as an elementary education major.
- While in college, I was aware of a "Dr. Mike" that periodically came on campus. He was a board member and had a real interest in building relationships with the guy students to encourage and mentor them.
- 2001: Joanne graduated from MBBC with her Bachelor's Degree (note that is the same graduation that Rob got his Master's Degree - only we didn't know each other at the time - and he was already married).
- I taught first grade in a Christian School for six years and loved it!
- I spent my summers going on mission trips or working at summer camp (Northland Camp in '04 and '05).
 |
| Joanne at her college graduation |
November 2005 I was in the middle of a school year, praying about what next steps into my future would be. Should I continue teaching where I was? Should I pursue teaching missionary children in another country? What about grad school? I remember asking God to give me direction that clearly came from Him -- you know, asking for handwriting in the sky. I also communicated to Northland that I would not be returning to work at camp in 2006. At the time I didn't understand why I didn't think God wanted me to go back there, because I loved working at camp. Little did I know that also in November 2005 Rob was also asking for God to direct the steps of his future.
One day, Rob was talking to Samantha's teacher, Mrs. Miller, and mentioned that he was desirous of getting married again. Mrs. Miller, who was good friends with my aunt (who taught at the same school), told Rob that she knew of a single teacher not far away who would be worth considering as a wife. Then from mid-November until January, Rob prayed and sought much counsel (especially from Dr. Mike) considering the possibility of dating and marrying me. He even "googled" my name, and was directed to the faculty bio page of the school where I was teaching.
At the end of December 2005, I went to the wedding of a friend with my brother, Joel. At the reception of that wedding, Joel and I sat with Dr. Mike. Part of our conversation with Dr. Mike that day stuck out to me. He said something like, "Weddings always make me wonder what trials the couple may have to go through. For example, I have a dear friend who lost his wife awhile ago. He now has two children and wants to be a pastor." While that comment struck me, I didn't dwell on it much at the time. I went home and continued to pray about God's clear direction for my future - direction that only He could give.
 |
| Rob, Joanne, Samantha and Michael |
By mid-January, Rob decided he needed to "knock on this door to see if it would open." January 26, 2006 Rob called my dad to explain who he was and that he was interested in beginning a relationship with me. My dad told him that this seemed like an answer to prayer for a husband for me, and he was more than welcome to call me, but to give it a couple of days so that my dad could give me a head's up. That same evening, my dad called to tell me about Rob and his situation. He advised me to give it a chance and not shut it down since I didn't know Rob at all. He also mentioned that Dr. Mike was one of Rob's counselors in this situation. I got off the phone with an overwhelming sense that God was answering my prayer for direction -- this seemed to be the writing in the sky. My mind instantly went back to the reception of that wedding I attended one month earlier . . . the guy Dr. Mike was talking about was this Rob guy. Dr. Mike had been praying along with Rob about me, and just didn't realize at the wedding that I was that girl.
Once I was over the initial shock of this phone call from my dad, I got REALLY nervous. It was Thursday night, and this Rob was supposed to call "sometime in the next couple of days." I'm pretty sure I hardly ate a thing for the next 48 hours. My mind was racing with lots of unknowns . . . when will he call? what will he say? what will I say? what if he can't get ahold of me - the apartment phone isn't working... what if he hates me? - all of the "what ifs" at which hind-sight laughs. My mind was also racing with details clicking together in my mind: 1) In Bible study just the week before, we were studying how Mary's life changed drastically in an instant when she was told that she would give birth to Christ. We discussed the right response to those kinds of life-turning points. Was this not a potential life-turning point? 2) I had contemplated the possibility of marrying a widower before. My maternal grandmother married my grandpa after his first wife died. My mom was just a little girl when that happened. This situation made me see and understand the unique nature of marrying a widower with children. Was this not preparation for this kind of thing? 3) I had told Northland that no, I wouldn't be working the following summer. Was this not God ordering my steps for this new path my life seemed about to take? 4) I loved children and working with children. Was this not a work of God in my life to prepare me for instant motherhood?
Once I was over the initial shock of this phone call from my dad, I got REALLY nervous. It was Thursday night, and this Rob was supposed to call "sometime in the next couple of days." I'm pretty sure I hardly ate a thing for the next 48 hours. My mind was racing with lots of unknowns . . . when will he call? what will he say? what will I say? what if he can't get ahold of me - the apartment phone isn't working... what if he hates me? - all of the "what ifs" at which hind-sight laughs. My mind was also racing with details clicking together in my mind: 1) In Bible study just the week before, we were studying how Mary's life changed drastically in an instant when she was told that she would give birth to Christ. We discussed the right response to those kinds of life-turning points. Was this not a potential life-turning point? 2) I had contemplated the possibility of marrying a widower before. My maternal grandmother married my grandpa after his first wife died. My mom was just a little girl when that happened. This situation made me see and understand the unique nature of marrying a widower with children. Was this not preparation for this kind of thing? 3) I had told Northland that no, I wouldn't be working the following summer. Was this not God ordering my steps for this new path my life seemed about to take? 4) I loved children and working with children. Was this not a work of God in my life to prepare me for instant motherhood?
 |
| Rob and Joanne |
Finally around 1:30 on Saturday, January 29, my cell phone rang, and it was a number I didn't recognize. My heart started racing; however, I was at a bowling alley with a group of kids from church. I excused myself from the group and found a vacant entryway to answer the phone. It was Rob, and he asked if it was a good time to talk. I explained the situation, but assured him I would be available at 3:00. That bowling activity couldn't get over fast enough. I was home and waiting when my phone rang again right at 3:00. Between 1:30 and 3:00 Rob thought that perhaps I needed more time to think and take it all in, so when I answered the phone, he offered to give me more time and call back at a later time. I was thinking, "No way - we've got to have this conversation - I'm a nervous wreck"; but what I said was, "I'm more ready for this conversation than you might think." With a sense of relief, Rob then proceeded to explain his situation and articulate the leading of the Lord to pursue a relationship with me with the intention of that relationship leading to marriage. That very first phone conversation with Rob lasted an hour and a half and ended with a plan to e-mail, talk on the phone, and arrange a meeting a couple weeks down the road.
 |
| Joanne meets Samantha and Michael for the first time |
After a few more phone conversations and several e-mail exchanges, we scheduled February 10, 2006 to be a date to meet in person. Rob planned to bring a couple with him to pick me up and have a double date at Chili's. Again my mind was racing with all the unknowns as that first meeting approached. We now laugh about how awkward that first meeting was. At the conclusion of that first date, Rob asked if it would be okay to set up a meeting with his children. As the meeting with the children approached, Rob coached them not to say anything about their opinion about me until they were home after the meeting. However, at the end of our lunch, Samantha walked around the table and handed Rob a napkin on which she had written in crayon, "I like her." It was very soon after meeting the children, that I was also able to meet Rob's parents and sister.
Rob and I continued a pretty intense phone and e-mail dating relationship, with occasional in-person dates. I was amazed at how like-minded we were/are on so many things - and we very quickly grew to love and respect each other. Our families and spiritual authorities gave us complete green lights to proceed with our relationship toward marriage. Our relationship started out so clearly with purpose in mind - leading toward marriage, that I knew an engagement would be imminent. We had talked about the right timing for a wedding, and we had done window ring shopping.
 |
| Mr. and Mrs. October 14, 2006 |
On April 29, 2006, three months after my first conversation with Rob, and after only 10 one-on-one dates, we got engaged (see "The Engagement"). The next six months are somewhat of a blur in my mind. I finished a school year and packed up my classroom. I worked in the church office for the summer before packing up my apartment and moving in with my grandmother for a few weeks. I planned a wedding. I did everything I could to help Rob with Samantha and Michael (including assisting with a bug project due the week of my wedding). I spent occasional time with Rob, dreaming about the blessing that being together for life was going to be. The year 2006 was an eventful one for me. So much of that year was a living testimony of God's sovereignty, grace, and faithfulness. My heart was full as I experienced a real work of God's direction. Every time I stop and reflect on the details that led me to Rob, I have a renewed sense of awe and gratitude at the goodness and greatness of my God. Waiting for God to reveal His perfect plan for my life was worth the wait. "No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly."
Thanks for reading,
